How does a mother's heart hold onto a miracle?
The touch of forever that God has blessed her with -
the very life of a precious child that has been entrusted to her?
This miracle is part of her, coming from within her. Whether through birth, or through adoption, a child comes from within the deepest part of our heart. And is part of our heart. For we are created to be life-givers, life-nurturers - it is at the core of who we are, how God crafted us - for His purposes, and for our best good.
And this is not accidental, this bonding of hearts with our children. For we all need to be loved, and loved deeply, and forever. A mother's love - all a glimpse into the even-greater-love that our Creator has for our children. A tangible expression of His unending, all-encompassing love that He has for us, for our children, for each of His children. And to give this love, we give away parts of our heart.
To be a mother - "is to decide forever
to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
I do not know how to explain this love, this giving away of our hearts. But my heart knows it - it is a scattered heart, parts with each of my six children - and it is a heart in need of being held together by my Creator.
It is as if a gentle surgery has taken place by our Creator, lovingly shaping and carving our hearts to hold love for each of our children, to always be with each of our children. For our children come from deep within us, through the deepest of love expressed between a husband and wife. (And from a very deep place of love and longing in the heart of a woman struggling through infertility - and a child is birthed for her to hold.) Our children come through our pain of longing, and in the suffering in nausea through pregnancy, and in the intensity of the birth process. We give of ourselves to bring life - and also to nurture this life.
My heart has lived a very full, and a very scattered life with six children - now all grown. It has been in hospital rooms, through the grueling days of a bone marrow transplant for leukemia, in school locker rooms when unkind words were heard, across the ocean in the Philippines, Japan, Macao, Taiwan, Greece, (on missions trips with daughters), in NYC and SF with a son, traveling through Europe with another son - and just this week, part of my heart left (again, as it has gone before) with our youngest son on a three-month job/adventure with a fish processing ship off the coast of Alaska in the Bering Sea.
How do you say good-bye, and watch through tears as part of your heart flies away? This is the way of mothers, for part of our heart is always with our child.
Through all of our days of mothering, we hold on, and we let go. We hold on to the little ones and the grown ones that are part of us, and we let them go to pursue their dreams, with our prayers for them to become all that God created them to be.
We hold them in our hearts -
and we release them to His heart.
And we are made complete and we are held together by the One who created us to be mothers. The One who gave us the blessed privilege of being "mother" - who designed for our hearts to be with our children. And for us to be held together by His love and care. We are Forever Close to our children, and we are Forever Close to His heart.
Forever Close: The Heart of a Mother
Click here to read more of my thoughts behind this series.
Linking up with:
Thought Provoking Thursday
Hearts 4 Home
Faith Filled Friday
Better Mom Mondays
Soli Deo Gloria
Death by Great Wall