A Mother's Heart: In So Many Places

How can a mother's heart
be in so many different places?

Last week ...
my heart was in Omaha
helping a daughter pack
up her kitchen, her life,
as she made a move 300 miles away
with her dear hubby and two sweet kids.

And after going along
and being part of the excitement
of the move, of the settling in,
this same mother's heart 
overflowed with tears
as we said good-bye, and left
to drive 300 miles back to our home.

The very next day,
my heart was in San Francisco
(where it is every other day, as well),
as a dear son celebrated his birthday.
And I wished to give him a warm hug,
and an "I love you".

And now, two days after that day,
my heart is making preparations
to welcome another dear daughter,
her hubby and two of her kids,
for a sweet visit from Texas.

And as my heart is overflowing,
and is tearful, and is grateful 
for these two daughters, and son -
it also is stretched across the miles
to another dear son in New York,
and to two precious daughters
who live nearby.

How can a mother's heart
be in so many places?

Only by God's grace ...
held so close by the One who is Love,
and the One who holds all things 
together.

The Path to Springtime

Don't you just love spring? 

It's my favorite time of year!

I love ...

the freshness of new life,

the blossoms of the fruit trees,

birds singing, grass turning green ...

the planting of our veggie garden,

choosing the flowers for our patio planters.

I love the spring events - 

the picnics, graduation parties,

family birthday parties,

gathering with friends outdoors.

I love spring!

But even more wonderful to me than the season of spring ...

is holding a sense of springtime in my heart -

a kind of springtime that lasts all through the year.

Living each day with freshness 

and closeness in our relationship with God -

where we are aware of His love

and we are walking closely with Him.

Where every day can feel fresh, 

like spring ...

Maybe this springtime that we long for

begins by quieting ourselves,
not just once, but continually,

and by becoming very small,

like a seed ...

Why do we resort to thinking
that we are the ones who can do it all?
That we are the ones who can grow tall,
the ones to produce the flowers,
the fruit that will nourish others?

How often do I need to be reminded,
continually, always,
that it is about surrender.
Waving my white flag of surrender,
and giving up my own efforts,
my own need for control -
and just resting 
in the soil of His love and His power.

Maybe we need to give up our own agenda

for the masterpiece that He is creating.

Give up writing our own story for our lives

and embrace the one that He is writing.

Not settling for second best

with our own chapters and plot-lines,

but yielding to Him,

embracing the beautiful story

that He created for our lives.

Yielding completely,

growing to be the most beautiful flower

that He has designed us to be;

each seed, unique,

crafted for specific purposes.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. 

He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, 

so we can do the good things 

He planned for us long ago.”

(Ephesians 2:10)

For Happy Mother's Day,

and for every day of the year!

To all mothers, and to all who long for the growth,

 and the flowers and the fruit ...

A sure promise from our Creator -

as we yield control,

and as we rest in His care,

trusting Him alone, 

the One who created the seed ...

that it is He who brings the growth,

who causes the flower and the fruit

to blossom and to grow.

Fruit fashioned specifically for me, 

and specifically for you.

Unique, beautiful, life-giving,

reflecting the fragrance of His love.

All for His glory alone.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, 

through His mighty power at work within us, 

to accomplish infinitely more 

than we might ask or think.” 

(Ephesians 3:20)

A Mother's Garden: The Seeds, The Growth

Spring - the time of fresh colors and fragrant blossoms ... the time to dream of beautiful gardens - the time to purchase the vegetable garden seeds and flower seeds, and the flower plants that we will pot - the time to carefully prepare the soil.

We put a lot of effort into our yards and our gardens - all for the purpose of growing beautiful, fragrant flowers, or bountiful crops of veggies ... tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans.

We do all we can possibly do to get the most vibrant growing crop. We purchase just the right seeds and plants. We prepare the soil, we plant, we water, we weed. And we water and weed over and over again. 

And I wonder ... 

do we maybe begin to think that

we are the ones who cause the garden to grow ... 

that it is our efforts that cause a seed to sprout, 

that because of our working the soil for our flower pots and our gardens, 

that we are the ones who are producing the flowers, the bountiful crop of tomatoes, cucumbers??

And I also wonder ...

Do we have this same thinking

when it comes to mothering?

That over time - maybe, sometimes - 

we even begin to start imagining that we as mothers/wives are the ones 

who have brought the growth in our children, 

in our families? 

For after all, we are the ones who are doing the work. 

On our hands and knees working the soil, watering, pulling the weeds.

Do we maybe sometimes think that it is all up to us,

that it is our own efforts and work that brings the growth?

Do we begin to think that if we are good mothers, that our kids will make the right choices in life, that they will be good, that they will always follow after God? We put all of our effort into being the best mother possible, the best wife possible, and often find ourselves believing that maybe it is up to our own efforts to accomplish what we desire.

But ... the words of I Cor. 3:7 say it so clearly ...

"So neither he who plants

nor he who waters is anything,

but only GOD

who gives the growth."

And I wonder if our thinking about 

planting and growth in relation to our families 

makes a huge difference in 

how much we really do depend on God ...

how earnestly we seek after Him,

what our first priorities are,

and even how we view prayer as wives and mothers.

For if we think that things are really up to our own efforts ... if we think that what we do brings about growth in our child (growth in character, and in relationship with God), and that how we are as wives is what brings the things that we desire for our husbands ... then that is what we focus on most of all - our own efforts. And of course, we pray, too, but we do not view prayer as really very critical or of real importance.

Of course, our own efforts are important ... all the time and love that we put into our families is crucial and is hugely important. It is our calling, our responsibility to love, develop, and nurture our families. We need to give our complete focus to mothering, learning all we can, nurturing and not neglecting, giving of ourselves, our energies, our time. But as mothers ...

 We cannot make a seed sprout and grow.

It is only GOD. He is the Creator.

He is the only one who can mold a heart.

Only GOD brings the growth.

To be continued in the next weeks/months, 

with more thoughts on mothering, 

and more thoughts on our highest calling as mothers ... 
following after God with our whole hearts,

loving, nurturing, and praying for our children,
depending on Him alone.

The Beauty of Mothering

Giving credit and thanks to Bonnie, for freely sharing her beautiful graphics!

Mother's Day ...

a day that carries so much beauty, 

and so many emotions. 

For how can one word - one person -

hold a place of such huge significance?

My life changed forever when I held my sweet baby daughter in my arms for the first time. It was May 11, 1973 - just two days before I had the greatest privilege of celebrating my very first Mother's Day. And since then, I have been blessed to mother five more precious ones ... four daughters, and two sons in all. It is one of life's greatest blessings to carry the name of mother.

Mothering is one of the most wonderful, glorious, beautiful, emotional, heart-breaking, all-consuming roles that you could wish for, or even imagine. And it is one of the most longed for roles for many. It is simply one of the most fulfilling roles there is, and it is clearly one of the most demanding roles that we can ever experience. It can be dreamt about and highly anticipated, can come unexpected and unplanned for, or it can be out of reach for many who long for it so deeply.

Mothering can fill our days with beauty, warmth, and more love than we can even imagine, and it can also deplete us of strength, joy, and bring us to our knees over and over again.

Mothering is complex. 

It calls for more than we have.

How can we possibly fulfill 

all that this role calls for? 

And in the complexity of this role, and in all the emotions of the good and the hard days of mothering, I have found that there is one constant. One thing that never changes. Though each day of mothering may bring new and diverse situations and responsibilities, a need for much wisdom to know how to mother in these specific circumstances, and with each day we often find ourselves with an array of emotions for as mothers our love is so deeply connected with our children - in all of this ... there is a source of solid, firm, constant, faithful support for us as we mother.

I have found over and over again, that mothering is what draws me to Jesus more than anything else in this life. Mothering is what lifts up my heart to Him in thanks - as I am filled with the deep joy of mothering, of the joy in giving of unconditional love, of joy in the receiving of the sweetest of love, of the joy of seeing life develop and thrive. 

And mothering is what draws me to need Him in ways that I never knew before, for I have found myself in places of need that I have never known before. Mothering has a way of making us feel so completely helpless. For we are completely helpless to accomplish what we desire most in the lives of our loved children. We can give of our very best efforts, but we, ourselves, do not hold the power to change hearts. It is only God who can accomplish the things of the heart.

We do not have what it takes to mother. We are in need of Him. Everyday. Whether our children are little, or are grown. I need His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) These are the character qualities that we need every day as we mother, and these come only from Him. Mothering is beyond ourselves. We are in need every day as we mother.  

As we find ourselves in need of Him, 

as we are held by Him - 

we find all that we need as mothers.

Happy Mother's Day!

Wishing you a Mother's Day
filled to overflowing
with love from children, and family,
and most of all,
with the faithful, unending
love of God for you, as you mother.

Nurturing 101

A special gift: 2016 calendar from my daughters with photos of our sweet grandkids!

The amazing, incredible gift of Family ...

It is easy sometimes to take for granted one of the most priceless gifts there is ... the Gift of Family. And sometimes it also easy to neglect the care of family, as there are so many things that call for our attention.

But we must not forget, and we must not neglect 

to nurture and care for our families. 

I recently pulled a book off my shelf that my sweet hubby gave me 34 years ago on Mother's Day ... What Is a Family? by Edith Schaeffer. I learned from her words thirty-four years ago, and I am learning again as I browse through her book.

Edith Schaeffer likens a family to a mobile. I like to also think of it in terms of a mobile wind chime - a collection of delicately, hand-crafted parts, each part needed to balance the other, and all held together by almost invisible threads. Edith describes it like this:

"A mobile is a moving, 

changing collection of objects

constantly in motion,

yet within the framework of a form."

With each passing year, this description comes even more alive to me ...

When my six children were small, when they were first placed in my arms, I was in absolute, inexplainable awe of the gift of each one. Each one unique, each one a precious gift from God. And each one entered into the holy framework of a family. 

This family has changed throughout the years, as we all pass through seasons, and we all grow and develop. And also as we go through trials together, and work together through difficult circumstances. The good times, as well as the hard times are what can bind a family together.

But families that are closely bound together are a gift - not anything we can brag of, and claim as our own creation. Families are a gift from God. 

They are like a garden, for as we carefully plant the seeds, and tend the soil, we completely depend on our Creator to bring the growth.

As mothers, we are blessed beyond measure to be a part of tending the garden, to work alongside our Creator, depending on Him alone.

"There is no possible way of having good relationships, nor of having a whole grouping of good relationships in the framework of a family, if there is no one who understands that it takes time, patience, hard times, unselfish work, sacrifice of a variety of sorts, and planning on the part of someone to insure memories of beauty sprinkled all through the difficulties." (Edith Schaeffer)

Mothers - young mothers and older mothers - let us be encouraged that our nurturing and care of our families is of prime importance. We are blessed to work alongside our Creator to love and care for the priceless gift of FAMILY.

A wind chime produces the most beautiful sounds of music. And have you noticed that as the breeze, and even the wind, picks up, that the sounds are even more beautiful than before? 

This month holds memories of when some winds blew on our family mobile ... 

• memories of a terrible accident that almost took my husband's life fourteen years ago this month, and of how our family was there for us, even some from across the miles, holding us as we walked through those difficult days, weeks, and months

• memories of a daughter's diagnosis of leukemia twenty years ago this month, memories of pain and sorrow mixed in with the blessings of a family holding on to hope together, and also memories of healing, even beautiful healing of some broken relationships

• and more recent memories of this past weekend when my husband and I had the responsibility of moving an older sibling, and our own daughters who live nearby stepped in so generously to help us as we helped another family member - they were such a huge help with the move; we could not have done it without them

The winds bring tears, but the winds also are part of producing beautiful music as a family is held together by threads of love. 

As mothers we should never underestimate the importance and value of the giving of ourselves to the nurture and care of our families, and we should never take for granted what a gift it is to live within family. A priceless gift from God; a reflection of His Love. 

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Click to read more on this topic:
Nurturing 101 (January 2016)
FOREVER CLOSE: The Heart of a Mother

Linking up with:
Jennifer at Tell His Story

Nurturing 101

A special gift: 2016 calendar from my daughters with photos of our sweet grandkids!

I've been kind of captivated by this word recently: nurturing. And wondering if it is a good definition of what we as women, as wives, mothers, grandmothers, and friends, do, and what we are at the core. Isn't this where our hearts are? What brings us the deepest kind of joy? To be nurturers, life-givers ... 

I looked up the definition of nurture last week, and this is what I found from various online resources:

• the care and attention given to someone or something that is growing or developing
• as a verb: to feed and protect or support and encourage; to bring up; train; educate
• as a noun: upbringing, training, education, development, something that nourishes

Nurturing our children, our grandchildren, all of our relationships, can be compared beautifully to how we nurture the seeds and young plants in our gardens and homes. For with our gardens and with our families and loved ones, it really is an unconditional giving, and nourishing. And it is a daily, faithful commitment of time and energy on our part. And sometimes it even requires replanting, with very tender care. Sometimes the storms come ... and the only thing and the main thing we can do is to love and to pray. 

And always, we are nurturing: giving care and attention, supporting, encouraging, training, loving, and the most powerful form of nurturing we can provide for those we love - praying for them. For God is the most loving and powerful nurturer of those we love.

May our sons flourish in their youth

like well-nurtured plants.

May our daughters 

be like graceful pillars,

carved to beautify a palace.

(Psalm 144:12 NLT)

- - - - - - - - - -

I have a desire to write periodically on this topic of nurturing during this year, sharing thoughts, quotes, and ideas.

Nurturing has been part of my life as a mom and grama for many years. I have the great privilege of being the mother of six, mother-in-law of four, and grama of ten. A full life, and a full heart.

And I also have an important disclaimer: Though I have experience in mothering/nurturing, what I write here  is also for my own learning. In fact, I almost hesitate to write on this topic, for I know how far I fall short. For we do that as women, as mothers, don't we - we always strive for perfection. But there is only One who is perfect. And by God's grace and mercy, as we are nourished by His faithful love and care, we can continually grow as nurturers for those we love.

- - - - - - - - - -

Sharing a few nurturing hands-on tips and ideas this month:

Create a space, an individual space, for each child (or grandchild) ...

We all desire to belong, to feel loved and cared for, to feel noticed. One tangible way we can show love is to make a space for those we love. To let them know that we value them, and are thinking about them. 

Sometimes it can be expressions of the heart; a hug, a listening ear, a prayer. And sometimes it can be a tangible way that love and care are expressed ...

These "school boxes" are located on shelves in what our grandkids sometimes call the "art" or "drawing" room of our home. It came from a desire of mine to help them feel special and loved: a box of their own drawing and coloring supplies, with an extra little item added from time to time.

I have been surprised at how they love these boxes - fixed up just for them, with their own name on the box. It maybe gives them a sense of belonging, that their time in our home is anticipated and looked forward to. When a grandchild comes over, I love watching them pick out their box, and move it to the table in the room set up for their use. 

Individual time with a child:

A page from my digital scrapbook ...

One-on-time with those we love speaks volumes. But finding individual time with a child (or grandchild) can be a challenge. For usually there are multiple children to love and care for. It takes a special effort to make individual time a reality.

Our grandkids are growing up fast, and right now, there is only one who is not in school yet, though she does love the preschool that she goes to two mornings a week! Once a month, besides the times that we may be caring for her and her older brother, I love to have an "Eva Day". With just Eva. A time to focus on just her, and give her my full attention.

She always leaves our home so happy, and I end the day with a full heart ... and also, with a need to sit down and rest up from the day! It's always great fun for both of us, and also for "grampa" who also gets in a bit of time with her, as his office is in our home.

Individual time always makes us feel loved, doesn't it? It works this way with God - spending time alone with Him, reading His Words, listening, journaling ... and we are filled up. And from this overflow, we can do the same with those we love; spending one-on-one time in conversation, in listening and caring.

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For more of my posts on mothering:

Forever Close: The Heart of a Mother

Linking up with:
Intentional at Home Thursday
Tell His Story

Reflections on Spring and on Mothering

It's always a joy to welcome the month of March. For it signals the coming season of SPRING! Beautiful, fresh spring ... a favorite of mine.

Capturing the memories of the first week of March with digital scrapbooking, and pondering the variety of roles that we as women have. The first week of March certainly was filled with variety for me as a woman. We are the ones whom God created to come alongside man, to complement man, to be life-givers, to be nurturers. To be a reflection of the very character of God, made in His image.

For 35 years I was a blessed mother with children in our home ... six children spread out with seventeen years between the oldest and the youngest. And now that I am in the "empty nest" season of life, the life-giving, and the nurturing continues. And I am blessed. It is who we are as women ... for our God, in whose image we are made, is a giver of life, loving and caring, and always desiring for His children to experience all that they are made for. 

Whether we are married or single, mothers of birth children or adopted children, or with opportunities to mother and care for others in our lives, and also with a wide variety of situations at home or in the workplace where we can infuse life and creativity ... we are blessed to be women. Made in God's image, to reflect His love and life to those around us.

Even my first week of March captures the many facets of this life as a woman.

*giving care to my 93 year-old father (it seems that my role with him has changed to mothering him during this season of life he is in now with many and multiple needs), 

*caring for a sweet granddaughter (giving Carrie a day to use as she wished and having "grama" time with sweet two year-old Eva), 

*helping Amy out with a need for her children (and time with Levi and Ali after school one day), 

*a freezer meal day last Saturday with Sara (as we prepared freezer meals together for Amy who anticipates being a kidney donor soon) and her two boys (Jake & Cole had fun helping us in the kitchen), 

*being a companion and encourager for my sweet hubby as we live life together and serve together in Cru ministry, 

*building into the lives of our part-time Cru staff couple as we hosted them for a meal and meeting,

*gathering for prayer with other Cru staff (encouraging each other and praying for each other),

*meeting with our CityGroup over a pizza meal out together as we shared and prayed for each other,

*and multiple other opportunities - phone calls with other family members, and more ...

I admit sometimes I am overwhelmed with the fullness of life. Though "empty nest", it is a "full life". Sometimes it feels almost too full, but then I am reminded that I am so very blessed by this full life with all the opportunities to love and nurture, to reflect His Love. And I am thankful. So blessed to be a woman, made to reflect God's character and love to those around me.  

Pausing to reflect and to give thanks.

And thinking of you, too, as you share His love

as a woman with those around you.

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For more posts on this topic:
FOREVER CLOSE: The Heart of a Mother

Dear Mothers

Dear mothers of young ones, 

and mothers of older ones ...

Are you a weary mother - weary and fragmented not only physically,

but also, often - emotionally?

Are you hard on yourself as a mother,

often and always, thinking that your efforts are not enough?

Are you hard on yourself as a young mom;

are there tears of regret at the end of the day?

Are you hard on yourself as an older mom;

are there tears of regret at the end of their childhood days?

Do you read books on mothering, blog posts on mothering -

always searching for ways to perfect your mothering?

Do you really believe that this mothering thing is all up to you?

* * * * * * *

Could it be that God has given us the role of mothering,

this all-consuming, 24/7 role of mothering ... 

to reveal our weaknesses, and our inadequacies. 

To show us how helpless we really are. 

For as our inadequacies and weaknesses 

are revealed in the dailyness of mothering, 

we discover in a new way how needy we are. 

Of how we need Him.

As mothers, it is right and good to do our best; 

we do not purposefully neglect or ignore 
the loving and the caring for our children. 

We give our best efforts, day in and day out. 

We love our kids, and we want the best for them, 

so we give our best.

The reality is that our best is not perfect. 

For God is perfect, and we are not. 

We are the clay, and He is the Potter. 

We are the created; He is the Creator. 

He is God; we are not.

But we will continue to give our best - 

by the power and the help of His Spirit within - 

and we will trust God to mold and make our children 

into His beautiful masterpieces. 

Making vessels of honor out of imperfection. 

Just as He is in the process of doing in us.

We will trust Him with our children,
as we trust Him with ourselves.

Not of our own work, lest we should boast. 

But by His grace, mercy, and love.

Click here to read more posts on this topic:
Forever Close: The Heart of a Mother

Linking up with:

Spiritual Whitespace